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A Love Song

Food is Nutrition
…not love
Love is love.

Food is not love.
Food is nutrition.

Get love
In all the right places.

Don’t get too much
Don’t get too little
Get enough.

So you don’t confuse food with love.

Fact is, we have a “relationship” with food. Think about what makes it healthy for you (and check out the similarities to your relationships with people): anticipation with a pleasurable, planful nature... boundaries... other interests... balance... full consciousness... never taking it for granted (rather savoring it)... and not “using” it... You should be smacking your lips about now.

Learn Behavior Modification principles for food (and of course they are the same principles happily followed for emotions and exercise):

  • Monitoring or Mindfulness
    knowing your patterns by creating a diary; enjoying happily your portion controlled life
  • Stimulus control
    Program your stimulation and cues mindfully, consciously with pleasant anticipation (for example, leave exercise clothes visible or in your car as a cue; respond to food commercials on TV by dancing rather than going to the refrigerator)
  • Contingency management
    Plan ahead to have non-food rewards for changing behavior (for example, the sensuous bath, permission to read trash, idling lazily by the TV, requesting a back rub... a little guilt, if you must go negative but only a small amount to prod you into new thinking and strategies.)
  • Cognitive behavioral strategies
    (learn to talk to yourself and think differently- visualize yourself smiling and sweating after exercise…and with normal blood sugars… or talking yourself into exercising for 15 minutes-rather than not at all. Think about the pleasures of a small amount of food: sweet pure joy; no guilt; no raised blood sugar; no broadened hips, just luscious pleasure).
  • Stress management
    SHI* happens. Know this and plan for your healthy responses. Know that you bring an apple with you for the ride home after a long day. Have a salad before going out to dinner so you are not anxious or starving.
  • Get support
    Spend time talking to friends, family, therapist so you can feel loved and not use food as a substitute.
  • Getting more…of less.
    Do girls really need the safety net of control in thinking they are not being rejected but mutually using? I can’t help but think girl power, saying no, might just give us more true personal clout, and not make us subservient to the masculine model.

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